10 Comic Book Characters Who Would Make Terrible Friends
You love reading about their adventures, and feel like they are almost a part of your own world, but would you really want to grab a brew in real life with a comic book superhero (or villain)? Spoiler — you wouldn’t.
Here are ten comic book characters who would make particularly bad friends:
If there’s one quality we look for in a friendship, it’s that the person won’t accidentally fry us, because they’re basically a big blob of radiation in a sort-of man suit. If there are two things, then the second is that the friend know more words than “glurb,” and “bb.” DC Comics villain Chemo isn’t gonna work out keeping those qualities in mind.
Sure, he’s the Dark Knight — insanely rich, and the most badass dude in Gotham City but if he isn’t being an a-hole (on purpose) as billionaire Bruce Wayne he is being an a-hole (by accident) as Batman. Let’s also be honest: he’s never, ever going to return your calls.
He is – no joke – a super-villain who’s also a sentient swarm of Nazi bees. That’s like a perfect storm of things your mom told you to watch out for when you were making friends on the playground. Your mom didn’t warn you about playground Nazis?
At first glance, you’d probably want to grab a brew with Marvel Comics most frequently inebriated Canadian. Chances are, if he doesn’t accidentally slice you with his claws then he’s gonna steal your girlfriend. Ask his fellow X-Men member Cyclops. Actually, don’t ask, it’s a touchy subject.
Matter Eater Lad
This member of DC’s Legion of Superheroes – teens with powers from the future – does exactly what his name suggests: he has the amazing power to eat anything. Cool trick at a party, not so cool when he eats your Xbox 360.
A giant tree from space who only says, “I am Groot!” would be fun to hang out with maybe once or twice, but in the long term? Not the best conversationalist. Plus the whole eco-friendly idea gets a little awkward when he catches you using so much printer paper.
Another terrible friend from the world of Marvel’s X-Men, Danger was the holographic training room the X-Men worked out in, until she got pissed about her “creator/friend” Professor Xavier just using her, and decided to try and kill everyone. We can’t prove it but we feel like our gym equipment is trying to do the same thing.
The Incredible Hulk
Bruce Banner could be a cool, nerdy dude to hang out with now and again, but make him angry, and… let’s just say, you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry. Plus he’ll always be bumming clothes off you. “Where is the other pair of jeans I lent you? How do you rip so many pairs of jeans? Do you sleep in a wood chipper?”
To be fair, Karen Starr – the alter-ego of DC Comics’ sort-of Superwoman Power Girl – is a pretty cool girl with a slight chip on her shoulder. But even if you had a good time hanging out, your OTHER stupid friends gawking at her boob-window will start to grate on the friendship after a while.
The creation of writer/artist Bryan Lee O’Malley, Scott Pilgrim is, easily, the worst friend in comics. He forgets everything people have told him, mercilessly grubs off everyone else, and is far more concerned with his own battles with his girlfriend’s seven evil exes than anything else going on around him… and that’s only in the first volume.