Cheyenne Shrine Circus Brings Back Hilarious Childhood Memories

The Shrine Circus returns to Cheyenne this weekend. The annual event will feature an afternoon matinee and an evening performance this Saturday and Sunday at the Laramie County Community College Arena.

For many of us, the circus brings back fond childhood memories. For me, it's a hysterical reminder of the funniest thing I've ever seen.

It was October of 1985, my church organized a field trip to the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus. I was given a ticket for my 9th birthday. It's a day I will never forget.

I was amazed by the acrobatic trapeze artists, the fire breathing and the astonishing number of clowns that were able to fit into a Volkswagen Bug. Then, the ringleader brought out the elephants.

Seeing the world's largest animal up close was an impressive sight to behold. The elephant handler organized the group into a circle and they began to a series of tricks; standing on two feet, then one, then sitting down on a stool, then standing up again, then standing on the stool, then standing on two feet on the stool.

As fate would have it, the elephant directly in front of my church group emptied his bowels. And this wasn't just any bowel movement; this was a massive patty, roughly the size of a large pizza; wet, thick and still steaming.

In another implausible coincidence, this giant dung projectile landed directly on the steel stepping stool that the elephant had been standing on just moments earlier. As the steaming pile landed on the stool below, you could actually hear the thud.

I remember looking over at the adults from my church and seeing them both marvel and laugh at the sight of this giant elephant turd completely covering this stool only a few feet away from us.

Then the next order came from the elephant handler: sit down.

As the weight of the two-ton animal descended down on the stool, time seemed to slow down. The elephant's aim was impeccable and its force was mighty.  Upon impact, the elephant had  launched a shower of soggy, brown poop flying into the first five rows of my section.

It was a direct hit.

Roughly 50 spectators were now completely covered in crap from head to toe, including almost everyone seated in front of our group. Fortunately, the giant turd didn't quite make it all the way to our seats and I was spared from the elephant's rectal fury.

In the chaotic aftermath, it almost seemed like a gun went off. People were sent running for cover. Parents and children alike began to cry and panic. As they scurried for the exits in a frantic effort to wash away the poop, and the shame, I began to laugh hysterically.

The adults in my church group were mortified and rushed to the aid of those around us. I couldn't stop laughing. They admonished us to stop laughing and even gathered us to leave before the circus ended. But I didn't care. I had witnessed something truly magical.

Thinking back on that day, I wonder how that event helped shaped my disgusting sense of humor. 30 years later, I can't look at an elephant without picturing the poor, poop-covered faces of those innocent and unsuspecting circus patrons...and laughing hysterically.

Let's hope, for their sake, nobody has a similar experience at the Shrine Circus this weekend.