It’s been widely held for a long time that the universe is expanding. But last month, astrophysicists said its not. Okay, I was fine with that, but just this week scientists now say

The universe is expanding at 42 miles per second:

. . . That's terrible news for the universe . . . what with bikini season kicking in.

 

Expanding at 42 miles per second? That’s faster than my wife’s…. “OW!”

“Honey, what happened to your sense of humor?”