As I write this, I hear the line, “I’ll be watching you” from “Every Breath You Take” by the Police. Or should I say, the Secret Police.

Visitors to the Sochi Olympics are checking in to hotels that are not finished, have tainted water they have been notified not to drink or even shower in (or else their skin may be burned).

They also have rooms featuring large pictures of a shirtless Vladimir Putin, sometimes riding various mammals that they can look at, begrudgingly. But while they’re looking at Putin, Putin is looking at them.

A Deputy Prime Minister let it slip earlier this week that they have video cameras in some bathrooms. Oh, and while talking about bathrooms, don’t flush the used toilet paper, use the wastebaskets provided.

This morning a member of a bobsled team had to break through the bathroom door after he became trapped in the bathroom. Don’t you wish you were there?