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More Work Of The Weird

Members of Gremlins Carnival Club work through the night on their cart, the Runaway Train. The train was last year's Bridgewater Carnival, the largest illuminated carnival in Europe. (Matt Cardy/Getty Images)

This stuff’s too good to pass up.  From Craigslist:

Tortured Artist Needs Travel Assistant in Thailand: Cape Cod-based artist Marc Israel wants to go to Thailand for some R and R, but he has one problem — “I am not fully able to function enough psychologically to be able to endure traveling alone.” Would you like to go to Thailand, all expenses paid? Marc’s looking for someone “to provide some sort of support/companionship” while he’s gallivanting about the Thai countryside. You’ll have to drop all your plans, because he’s leaving in the next week or two, and he won’t be back for a couple of months. He’s not the violent type, but be warned — “in my present desperate state I exhibit (visible or invisible) signs of fear, withdrawal, panic, inner-apocalypse, etc.”
French Maid Cleaning Service: This doesn’t sound too sketchy, does it? A guy in Canton, Michigan needs ladies 18 years old or older for his French maid cleaning service. He’s not interested in a resume, but he would like you to send a picture to You can make $20 an hour — if you’re not afraid to get a little dirty.
Substitue Teacher: This school in Palm Springs, California apparently needs an instructor who knows how to spell. Not exactly a ringing endorsement for your education program when the first word in the title of your ad is misspelled, is it? The school is looking for a person with all the required teaching certifications, preferably someone with an advanced degree in reading, writing, mathematics, science, Native American cultures and languages, foreign languages, fine arts and/or speech. And what are they willing to pay someone with a master’s in Native American cultures? $16 an hour. Come on.
Shovelers Wanted for Rooftops: So everyone’s heard how the Northeast has gotten socked with one snowstorm after the next, right? One contractor in Boston has an unusual opportunity for you to make a little cash off of Mother Nature — he needs you to shovel snow off of rooftops. The job starts immediately, so get in touch ASAP.

Does any of these job postings sound slightly enticing?

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