How to get through February 14th (Valentine's Day, or The Day I Wish Never Existed) and not get yelled at--in 5 helpful steps.

I heard a funny commercial for Shadows Bar and Grill in Cheyenne on the station for Valentine's Day. It's a guy getting his wife a gift; she hates it. Next year is the same thing. She gets a treadmill and hits him.

The commercial states: "Get it right. Yep, you need to make sure when she says "Don't get me anything" you ignore that. Or you are on the couch. Too cold outside for the doghouse."

Some of my ideas for avoiding the doghouse (or couch) this year:

  1. Buy meat and cook it - Set the table with flowers and a card.
  2. Take her to Little America, Shadows or The Nagle-Warren Bed and Breakfast.
  3. Do this because you love her, then expect nothing in return.
  4. Stuffed animals rock.
  5. Sean Hannity says Shari's Berries (Plus there's always coupon codes for reduced prices).

BTW: it's my 38th wedding anniversary and my wife is out of town. Does this mean I get a pass on both holidays?