When You Hear “I’ll Tell You What”, You Know It’s Going To Be A Good Conversation!

At the Down Home Diner in Cheyenne, I love to hear the farmers in to town to get "stuff from the Home Depot". Here's today's dialogue:

While we were having breakfast this morning at the Down Home Diner in Cheyenne, there were two older farm couples having coffee. One of the ol' boys had too much caffeine was was wound up like an eight day clock. He was pretty loud, so it wasn't eavesdropping. So here we go:

• I'll tell you what, my relatives have some problems, the niece is crazy up there in prison in Livingston. It wasn't them drugs that got her there, she's a wild child.
• The dog got out the gate and he got too damn hot and wanted back in the house. 
• My relatives got these cell phones with the internet on em' - They want me to get the internet on our phones, but they don 't work too well, we need to get new phones.
• We got go over to the Home Depot to get some white or gray paint, because the storm door turned our front door yellow. The door wouldn't have turned yellow, if I didn't put the storm door up. She wanted it, so here we go to Home Depot to get some paint.
• Jim next door he don't mow or water nothing. He let's the horses out to eat the grass and what doesn't get eaten, his wife gets out on the mower and shaves the rest down.