5 Questions Revisit the Legendary $9K Capital City Panty Caper
It's hard to remember local news stories from March of 2015, but if I mentioned, "The Capital City Panty Caper," wouldn't that story be hard to forget? Yes, that was when over $9,000 worth of women’s panties were shoplifted from the Cheyenne JC Penney.
Around 3:30 one afternoon, cops were called to Frontier Mall. The store’s surveillance only showed a couple with a large bag. Police think this pair picked and packed $9,153 worth of panties?
Long said not a single store employee saw this extreme silky panty raid while in progress. Police just couldn’t get a vehicle description on the panty mobile getaway car or any other details. And that was that.
Thanks to Chief Cheyenne Police Information Officer Kevin Malatesta. He checked that file again yesterday, only to tell us, "Sorry, there is still no new information."
So all we are left with are questions. In fact, here are 5 questions:
1. Why does anyone want that many pairs of women's underwear? How many pairs can a person really go through? Do we even want to really know?
2. Being near 20 months ago, do panties even last that long and who wants them back now? Do these lacy things expire?
3. How could these panties be tracked? Sniffing dogs? GPS inseams? Carmen San Diego?
4. Does this couple live in Petticoat Junction?
5. $9,000 in panties, we just want to know how the hell they got away with it? How do folks just walk out with that kind of cotton?
So cheers to you, the Rump Wrapper Wranglers, the Hip Hugger Hiesters, the Soft-Bottom Bandits, the Capital City Panty Capers.