Things You Should Never Do On A Windy Day In Wyoming
In the Cowboy State, a 50 mile-per-hour wind is considered a gentle breeze. Here are ten ordinary outdoor activities to avoid on a windy day in Wyoming.
1. Your hair - Seriously, why bother? If you can hear the wind gusting inside the house, just go to work with bedhead.
2. Count money - Trying to make change for a $20? Hold on tight, your cash could end up in Kansas.
3. Relieve yourself - You don't tug on Superman's cape and you don't pee in the wind.
4. Set your beer down - The Wyoming wind has spilled more beer than my college roommate. And that's a bold statement.
5. Sports - Unless you're a competitive athlete, playing catch, golf, tennis or shooting hoops isn't fun when the wind is really howling. Even riding a bike can be risky.
6. Climb a ladder - Are your gutters strong enough to support the weight of your body? If not, you may end up reenacting a WWE match.
7. Park under a tree - Bird poop isn't the only flying projectile that could damage your car. Even the strongest branches are no match for Wyoming wind.
8. Wear a hat - The phrase "hold on to your hats" wasn't coined in the Cowboy State, but it should have been.
9. Talk on the phone - I'm sorry, what? Hang on just a second. Can I call you back?
10. Pass gas - If you're downwind from others, let it rip. But if you're standing upwind from others, you could crop-dust an innocent bystander from a block away.