Satire: What If The Weird Seeds From China Are Beanstalk Seeds
I get it, we don’t really want to trust anything from China now or anytime in the future(aside from goods we get through trade), but, what if it’s really a gift? Ya know, I wouldn’t say the Chinese Government is gregarious and generous by any means, but what if they have some crazy cool benefit that we aren’t thinking of?
Are we talking about, maybe growing a beanstalk? I mean, sure, that giant kind of sucked in Jack and The Beanstalk, but, maybe it’ll take you somewhere really cool, like the wedding reception of some rich guy with cute girls and an open bar? I don’t think I'd be able to make it up there quick enough(for the free booze, I’m married).
Just imagine, planting one of those suckers and BOOM! You have a beanstalk, miles high, and there’s a fairy princess up there. You could steal the giants gold and live happily ever after with the princess on a ranch in Wyoming. Kind of like living the dream, right?
We’re just going to ignore this.
I’m not going to entertain that they’ll grow a giant Venus Fly Trap for a Little Shop Of Horrors situation. That would be the ultimate folly by China to send man eating plants out way. They could just come and plant them themselves if they wanted a singing plant to eat us all.
So, the best I can tell, it has to be beanstalk. We just need someone to test it out in a little pot and see if it explodes into a real life fairy tale.