Bart The Wyoming Buffalo Gets Ready For Tourist Season [SATIRE]
Spring has arrived in Wyoming. That means lots of wind and snow. But at some point summer will arrive, and stay with us for a couple of weeks, and the tourists will come flooding in to our state.
This is good economic news for the people of Wyoming. But the influx of tourists can be more than just a little annoying for the animals of Yellowstone.
We took a little time to chat with a friendly looking bison named Bart to get his impressions of what he called "the soon to come stampede of stupid."
"Did you hear that some environmentalist tried to set us free this winter?" said Bart as he rolled his eyes up under is rather large bushy eye brows. "Oh no we might be taken to slaughter. Golly Gee! I'll take my chances.They want to set us free to what? We leave the park there is far less water and a lot less to eat. Plus we can be hunted out there. What were they thinking?"
But that was this winter. What about the summer tourists?
"Don't get me started. A few years ago a couple tourists put one of my kids in the back of their SUV. Thought he looked lost and cold. What were they going to do? Take him back to their hotel and warm him up?"
"While I'm on it, where do they get the idea that I want to be hugged and petted? Do I look like a hugger to you? What the blazes do they think I have horns for? I'm several tons of a butt whoopin' waiting to happen is what I am. They never learn. They just keep coming. I can gore three tourist and six show up to the funeral."
"You Wyomingites get all excited at the beginning of hunting season. Where can I buy tourist tags for the beginning of tourist season?"
DISCLAIMER: Buffalo Bart was showing his usual sarcasm during this interview. You should hear him when he's in a bad mood.