Charles Dickens may have named him, and the ghosts of Christmas may have visited him, but the name of Ebeneezer Scrooge has come to mean more than just a literary character. He has entered the collective zeitgeist to become a term used to describe those who don't particularly care for the holidays. "Bah! Humbug!" is his refrain, if if you find yourself wanting to emulate the Scrooge character, well, here are a few tips to achieve it.

1: Sit Busy In Your Counting House

The Scrooge from Dickens' tale "sat busy in his counting house," despite having plenty of wealth, he was so fixated with that wealth that he didn't stop to enjoy the holiday season, or even give to charitable causes for the season. If you want to be just like him, spend more time pouring over your bills and finances than you do with your family this holiday season.

2: Refuse To Turn Up The Heat

If one of your loved ones is cold, make sure to lock the thermostat up so no one can touch it. Scrooge would be proud, having refused to give an extra lump of coal to his workers to keep them warm in the bitter London winter. You're doing them a favor, after all! Getting them used to harsh conditions builds character.

3: Say No To Mistletoe

Under no circumstances should you share a kiss under mistletoe, stand under it, or even permit it in your presence. If possible, burn it.

4: Tell Kids The Truth When They Ask About Santa Claus

This one is a no-brainer, right? If you're a Scrooge, the magic of Christmas is lost on you. That cute little boy with the crutch may come up to you when you're grocery shopping, and ask you if Santa is real, and you have to be ready to yell "OF COURSE NOT, HE'S MADE UP." Bonus points if the kid cries.

5: Yell "Bah! Humbug!" 

Lastly, the refrain of all Scrooges. Of course, you can acchieve the same effect in more modern terms by just saying "Ugh. Christmas." or "Why do they have decorations up already? It's annoying." Or even just "No." when your supervisor asks you to participate in the office Secret Santa exchange.


Of course, Scrooge changed his ways in the original tale. It doesn't take ghosts to make you realize that maybe, being a scrooge is a bad idea in the spirit of Christmas. So if you'd rather be cheerful and enjoy the holiday, simply do the exact opposite of all of the above tips. Merry Christmas!


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