Wyoming Tourist Mauled Trying To Take Selfie With Bigfoot
Edgar Whilperson thought he had scored big time. People have been searching for Bigfoot for decades, but the best anyone could provide as proof was a blurry photo or a shaky video.
Edgar, a New York City native, had never been out in the woods before. The closest he had ever come to nature was central park, where the squirrels frightened him. The idea of being so far away from people and a paved street was a little too much. All that green and fresh air was confusing his senses.
Imagine the range of emotions that ran through his skull when he turned the corner in the trail and almost ran straight into Bigfoot, who was coming the other way.
Fear, was the 1st emotion to strike Edgar. He was already skittish of all the whild squirrels around him. But this was different. The squirrels were so small, while Bigfoot was so - B I G !
Confusion was the 2nd emotion. He was struck by the size and power of the beast. Why, he wondered, was anyone actually looking for this creature? Did they think they were just going to have a nice chat with it and be on their way?
Disgust was the 3rd emotion. Bigfoot stinks.
Excitement was the 4th emotion. Edgar realized that he was going to be rich and famous. No one had ever actually seen one of these creatures this close.
But he needed proof.
Edgar reached for his phone. He managed to call up the photo app despite his shaky hands fumbling. He then stood side to side with the creature, put his arm around it's waist, lifted his phone to frame them both - and ...
Edgar awoke in the hospital two days later. He phone has been crushed and shredded along with his clothing, backpack, and some of his skin.
Edgar went back to NYC, vowing never to set foot in "nature" again. Three days later he was back in the hospital after being mugged in central park.